Haruno Dorms
by DarkJutsu
Summary: It all started when Sakura inherited Haruno Dorms.A chance to escape her bad life.Now she has to put up with the crazy residents or they will drive her mad.Crazy antics ensue.ItaSaku.GaaSaku,DeiSaku


Hiya!I mentioned in my story 'Toying With Your Heart' that I was starting another wacky Sakura story.I hope you enjoy.There's going to be a lot of characters.

Pairings(Not decided) : ItaSaku,DeiSaku,GaaSaku,ShikaTem.Please review.(Fear my evil toast)

* * *

All my life I've always wanted to be different.Being the same as everyone else would kill me.Unfortunatly,I was a bit different.But not in a good way.How am I different?No,i'm not deformed or an alien.I simply had a shitty start to life. 

But i'm an optimist.I'm not going to totally sob about it.Its the past now so forget it.My new life is well...

Oh my God it sucks ass!It makes me want to kill everyone with a toothpick!Everyone thinks i'm paranoid,even my docter but he's just out to get me!

I happen to have the world's worst luck when it comes to finding normal friends.But hey,it makes life interesting.

* * *

I woke up with my head pounding.I could still hear the loud music and shouting.I hate parties. 

No!I loooove parties.When they aren't thrown by an idiot who informed me half an hour before his stupid guests arrived.He thinks he so fucking cool.I hate him more than cabbage.

I hate cabbage.Sometimes I wish evil bunnies would take over the world and eat everyone.(Except me).

I would be the ruler.I even have a speech ready for the bunnies.Free carrots and home insurance for all!

I stumbled out of bed landing with a thump on the ground.Pulling myself up I manged to have a shower and get dressed,pulling on some baggy back pants and a corset.After lacing up my converts I engaged in a wild battle with my pink hair.

Yes pink,its natural,bite me.In the end my brush triumphed!I cut my hair short to make it easier to manage and it still seemed to involve so much effort.

I slipped in my nose stud and proceeded out of the bedroom.

Only to nearly fall over in horror.The entire hallway was littered with paper cups,bottles,cigarette buds and even condoms.

Shit.

I think I snapped at that moment.I trudged down the corridor to the stairway and I felt a vein pop somewhere.Downstairs was pretty much the same but someone had draped toilet paper all the way down the staircase.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!I'm going to kill you all!" I screamed grabbing my hair.

"Shut up!Don't you know what time it is?Some people are trying to sleep!" yelled a voice from one of the bedrooms.

I vowed to kill whoever that was.

I turned and marched down the corridor taking a turn or two along the way.(Big house).I stopped upon reaching the last door.

"You,you-you,bad person!" I yelled kicking open the door.I grabbed a potted plant from the hallway and prepared to kill the bastard when I noticed the room was empty.

"You gay-ass sissy,your just hiding,you must have felt my deadly wrath" I yelled at the room.

Silence.

I looked at the potted plant in my hand."This is all your fault" I hissed poking it.

Fine.If I can't kill him...

I turned away from the dark room and ran back down the corridor.

I crashed into a different room and nearly took the door off its hinges.

Without sparing a second to examine the blue room with all its expensive shit I dived on the lump in the bed.

They woke up quickly."What the fuck?!" they yelled jumping up.

"Sasuke!This is all your fault!" I yelled grabbing him in a headlock.

"How the fuck is it my fault!?" he choked grabbing at my arm.

"Cause,I said so" I said through gritted teeth.

"It was my brothers party,kill him instead,do me a favour" said Sasuke shoving me off.

"Hes not here,so i'm blaming you" I said flexing my arm and smiling simply."Don't be stupid,it suits you too well,if it is my fault can you explain to me how?" he said frowning and leaning back.

"One,don't look at me like that i'm not an earwig,two,you didn't stop him,three he's your brother,the same evil blood flows through veins and because hes your family,you have to take responsibility" I said smirking smugly and leaning back.

"Don't make me sick,he's not my family,well only by blood,I don't consider that,that thing to be my family" said Sasuke looking disgusted.

My eyes began to stray downwards and I began to giggle.

"What's your damage?" he said squinting suspiciously."Are you getting hard?" I whispered giggling.

I landed with a thump on the floor.

* * *

I sighed as I wandered down the hallway rubbing my elbow. 

"It was only a question,wait!Maybe he's impotent!The poor guy,i'll have to apologise later" I said looking guilty.

"Oh yeah" I said remembering something.I stopped what I was doing and backtracked a few steps.

I swung open the door on my left.There on the bed sat Gaara.

He looked up boredly when the door opened."Oh,its you,what the fuck do you want?" he said looking away again.

"Was it you?" I said leaning against the door frame.

"Please explain Haruno,we're not all gifted like you" he replied.

"That sarcastic comment" I said narrowing my eyes.

I saw his mouth twitch into a smirk."I have no idea what your talking about"

"Yeah,and i'm a preist" I said rolling my eyes.

"Bless me father for I have sinned" said Gaara fully smirking now.

I felt the corners of my mouth twitch and I tried not to smile."Shut up!Don't you know what time it is?Some people are trying to sleep" I mimicked crossing my arms.

"And?" he replied innocently.

"The fucking nerve of that,you can't even sleep,you have insomnia" I said poking him.

"I was so close this time" he said smirking.

"You did see what that stupid tranny did didn't you!?" I exclaimed dramatically.

"Really,he did all that by himself?" said Gaara with a glint in his eyes.

I knew that glint.He had caught me out."Well,no,not all by himself,it was the guests but..." I began.

Gaara just sat there smirking at me.I recovered."Still,it was his party!" I said defiantly.

I hate him so much.his brain is like an evil sponge.It sucks happiness out of me.

* * *

All right.Time for a history lesson. 

Growing up my parents were always fighthing.My dad left when I was a very young.

Then my mom changed.She starting drinking and every week she had a different boyfriend.

She didn't give a shit about me.I grew up wild and was always fighthing and getting in trouble.I even got kicked out of kindergarden.

When I was 14 I got sick of her and had to get away.I was desperate.

I ran away and stayed with my friend Temari.She had always been there for me.

Besides her,there was only one person who had ever looked out for me.My mom's younger sister.My aunt.

After about two months of staying with Temari my aunt turned up looking for me.She had heard what had happened and had come to see if I was okay.

She had always taken care of me when I was young.I stayed in her house all the time.She was quite rich and had no husband or kids of her own so she totally babied me.

She was more of a mother to me than my own mom had ever been.

She let me stay with her.All was okay for a few months.Then things changed on my 15th birthday.

The birthday present she gave me changed my life.

She had bought a dorm for me to live in.I couldn't talk properly for hours.I was just like...wow.

I had already been expelled twice from previous schools so after she moved me in she set about finding me a new school.

I felt so guilty.She went to such lengths for me.

Everything seemed great,she said she would send money every month and I didn't even have to pay rent because she owned it.

It was like having a gigantic house all to myself.

I knew it was too good to be true.

Three weeks later,the other guests arrived.This was to be...a real dorm.

Yep,that was how she was able to afford it.Thats how I came to be in charge of my own dormitory...and the evil baggage that came with it.

First people to arrive were the Uchiha brothers.Sasuke and Itachi.Rich bastards.Sasuke is a stoic bastard who takes pleasure in belittling other people.He's quiet and keeps to himself mostly.He dosen't talk much but when he does open his mouth you want to smack him.He's very popular with girls at school too,just not as popular as his brother.

Itachi.I hate him so much.The word annoying dosen't do him justice.He gives me the most trouble of all the residents.He's crazy and really weird.He always has a sarcastic comment to make and he never runs out of energy.He's very sexy too but i'd never say that,his ego is big enough already.He just lives to give me trouble.He's meant to be really smart(i've seen his test results) but sometimes he just acts so...blonde.He's very scatter brained too.

The two of them cause me hundreds in repairs every months.They cannot get on for the life of them.Sasuke has always hated Itachi for being so perfect and so much better than him and Itachi purposely winds him up.They fight 24-7.

Next is Gaara.Gaara,is absolutely out of his fucking mind.He hears voices and he's on medication.His has a really bad temper and he swears alot.He's not totally bad though.He's very sarcastic and he usually dosen't cause too much trouble.He's so cute,he looks like a panda.I love Gaara.

Kankuro is Gaara's brother.Words cannot describe Kankuro.He's just weird.And he has such a mouth on him.And yeah,like I said, words can't describe.

Next is God's mistake.Deidara.It's like I told him.He is a mistake.He is the world's vision of a sterotypical blonde.He's really stupid and lives to have fun.He can't sit still for a minute.He's always hyper and often plays pranks on everyone else.He loves art though.I just don't get.Why art?

Then there is my savior.Sasori.Without him I would have killed Deidara months ago.He's the only person in the world that can shut Deidara up.Deidara just like clings to him.He's really calm and dosen't speak much.He's just sort of...there.Still,he's a critical little shit.He can totally destroy your self confidence with one sentence.

Last guy in the house is Neji.Neji rocks.Don't ask me why.He just does.He has a presence.He dosen't say anything and you still want to talk to him.Plus he has such lovely hair.Unfortunatly,when he does talk I want to choke him with a belt.

There is only two other girls in the house besides me.One is my long time friend Tenten.She is such a support to me.She's a tomboy and acts more like a boy than Deidara.(That wouldn't be hard.I seriously think he's gay)She has a bad temper though and quickly flys to fight.Other than that she's fun to hang out with and always entertains me.

Other girl is Kin.I don't know much about her though.She just arrived the other day.

Last is me.I'm Sakura Haruno.I'm 16.I am bad tempered and crazy(My docter's words)I am a punk by nature and in fashion taste.I love causing havoc and often fight with other poeple.I love to have fun and I like to be daring so I won't have any regrets in my life.

Cause lifes too short for regrets.

Despite all I've said,I have to admit.

These guys are my friends.

* * *

I entered the kitchen to get breakfast and froze.The place was trashed and there was empty packets and wrappers everywhere. 

I dived at the fridge.Empty.So were the cupboards.

I was about to cry when I checked a box of cookies.There was one left.

I picked it out and looked at adoringly.I held it up in the air.

"Oh mighty cookie,you have saved me,I am sorry to have to devour you" I said sorrowfully.

Then Deidara strolled in looking full of energy as usual.

"Hi Sakura!Oooh a cookie" he said plucking it out of my hand and eating it.

I stared at him livdly."What,yeah" he said turning to look at my expression of horror.

"You BASTARD!" I yelled smacking upside the head.

"Ouch!What the fuck?" he yelled touching his pink cheek.

"You ate my cookie!" I hissed.

Naturally,he thought I was retarded."It was a only cookie,yeah" he said patting me on the head.

"It wasn't just a cookie,it was a symbol,a beacon of hope" I said dramatically.

I turned to see Deidara staring at me worridly."Sasori,i'm scared" he said backing out of the room.

"That's right,run!" I yelled as I stomped towards the front door to go buy my breakfast.

I was closing the door behind me muttering when I caught a glimspe of something out of the corner of my eye.

It was Itachi.

He was standing in the middle of the garden with his arms crossed and he was staring at dorm with a pained expression.

I stepped forward and looked back the dorm.I nearly fainted right there.The entire dorm was draped in tissue paper.

I took a deep breath and walked towards him.He looked over and saw me coming.

"Jesus,look at that, how'd they manage that" he said looking back at the dorm and whistling.

He didn't notice I was now behind him.I reached down and took off my belt which just for show.

And proceeded to wrap it around his kneck.

"You tranny,you fucking spanner!I'm going to beat you to death with a trout!" I yelled yanking the belt.

Itachi didn't have enough air to answer me.

Kankuro opened his window and looked out.He let out a laugh.

"S & M eh?Whatever floats your boat" he said grinning.

"You wanna be next" I said narrowing my eyes.

"Fine,but you realise if you kill him he's going to get away without cleaning" said Kankuro as he closed his window again,

No!I released my grip on him like I had just been burnt.

I waited till he had got his breath back before verbally assualting him."If you think i'm cleaning any of this you got another thing coming, its all yours,got it Uchiha" I said bending down to his coughing form.

"Fine,don't have a cow,you sound like my mother" he said smirking.

"Are you saying i'm old" I challenged."Are you saying my mother's old" he retorted.

There was silence until I stood up and proceeded to walk off.

"You do know if I had wanted to get free of that belt I could have" he said suddenly.

I turned back to observe his smirking face.

"I just wanted to see if you were going to choke me" he added.

I felt a blush.No one mocks me.

Then Sasuke wandered out.He observed the scene."What's going on?" he asked curiously.

"Nothing Sas-gay" said Itachi standing up.

"What did you say?" said Sasuke walking up to him.

"Are you deaf or retarded" said Itachi poking him in the face.

"I'm going to kill you!" yelled Sasuke diving at him.

Then everyone came out to cheer.

My life sucks.I want a cookie.

* * *

Please review.Next chapter will be funnier. 


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